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Our Mission is to be a healthy biblical community of Free Methodist leaders supporting one another and assisting the Free Methodist Church USA in understanding the societal distinctives of women in the FMCUSA in order to fully recruit and empower women among our disciples, leaders, groups and churches. About Us A Brief History It’s difficult to write a history of advocacy for women in the Free Methodist church, because those of us on this team stand on the shoulders of so many women who have walked this path. When exactly did advocacy “start”? With the first FM woman who woke up one morning and said—“This is not right. I’m going to do something.” So many others have “done something” since. We are only the latest nine. We are grateful for their tireless, courageous work of education and advocacy. We build on it. AWLFMC started with a Facebook message between two of us in February 2021. “Do you want to do something?” “Yes.” We messaged four other amazing and brave women with the same question. They gave the same answer. And so here we are. Six of us as a core team began meeting monthly to decide what that something would be. We quickly determined it had to include resources for our pastors and leaders to learn more about the culture in North America and how it affects women, especially the church culture. We needed to talk honestly about what we’ve experienced and allow those stories to be heard, unvarnished. We wanted a gathering place for women in the FMC to feel heard, seen, valued, and energized. Above all, we want to advocate for women to be treated with the dignity and equality afforded to ezer kenegdo images of God—in the church, in leadership, in marriage—everywhere. AWLFMC continues to expand beyond its original six to include women at quarterly meetings where we can learn from one another's experience and hear their needs. We plan action teams to pursue different projects as expertise and passion dictate. If you’re interested in either of these options, contact us. Meet The Team Rev. Denise J. Abston, D.C.C. Denise J. Abston brings a wealth of experience and expertise to the Central Region Conference as Assistant Superintendent. She was the first female ordained in the more than 100 year history of what was the Mid-America Conference, served as lead pastor for four churches in Oklahoma as well as in many assistant roles. A member of both the Conference MEG/MAC and the BoA, she has also served as the Assistant to the Superintendent for several years. Dr. Denise received her Doctor of Christian Counseling degree from Omega Bible Institute and Seminary, as well as a Masters of Arts in Leadership in Ministry from Greenville University. With her education and experience she has taught courses primarily in philosophy and business at St. Gregory’s University as an adjunct professor. An office administrator and paralegal for the Oklahoma City law firm of Fenton, Fenton, Smith, Reneau & Moon, she has served as the chair of the Diversity and Inclusion Committee for the Association of Legal Administrators for the Oklahoma City chapter and was President of the chapter from 2014-2015. Dr. Denise also serves on the Butterfield Memorial Foundation Board and is chair of its governance committee. She is happily married to her husband Chuck, who has been very gracious in allowing her a great deal of freedom to explore all the avenues God has prepared for her. Janet Richards To come Rev. Katie Sawade Hall Katie Sawade Hall is Associate Pastor at Community of the Savior, a Free Methodist congregation in Rochester, NY. She holds an MDiv from Duke Divinity School. Katie has been an ordained elder in the FMC since 2015 and spent the first five years of her pastoral ministry as a children’s pastor in Southern Indiana. She is especially interested in the intersections of liturgy, spiritual formation, and justice. Katie is married to Andy, who is a native of Lancashire, UK, and they have two daughters, Ellie and Zoe, and a golden retriever named Scout. Rev. Dr. Jill Richardson Jill Richardson pastors Real Hope Community Church in suburban Chicago. Her doctorate is in Church Leadership in a Changing Context, with a focus on the next generation and preaching. She has written or contributed to 8 books, and her articles have appeared in leading national magazines and websites. Her tagline is “Reframed: Picturing Faith what the Next Generation,” and her passion is to work with the next generation to create a healthy church for the 21st century. She’s also a writer, speaker, and (fairly) intrepid traveler. You can find her work or contact her at jillmrichardson.com . Rev. Dr. Roberta Mosier-Peterson To come To come To come AWL Emeritae Rev. Soo Ji Alvarez Soo Ji Alvarez loves reaching people in the margins, bringing reconciliation to communities, and raising up passionate followers of Jesus Christ. She has been in ministry for 30 years and has served as the senior pastor of a multiethnic Free Methodist Church in Riverside, CA. She currently serves as a Field Superintendent for the Free Methodist Church in Southern California where she oversees ministry development. She has been ordained since 2011 and she loves pastoring other pastors, leaders, and churches to create a culture of diversity and multiplication in every ministry context. Soo Ji and her husband Joe are blessed to have 2 beautiful kids, their son Juaquin and daughter Nayara. They also have 2 dogs named Oso and Chunk. Rev. Dr. Sheila Houston Pastor Sheila Houston is a leader in the Sex Trafficking Movement. She has led teams to work directly with victims of domestic sex trafficking throughout Seattle and internationally, working directly involved with over 2,500 victims. From 2008-2011 she also led street teams that worked directly with men involved in pimping. Sheila is a Free Methodist Pastor currently serving in Detroit Michigan at Arise Ministries Detroit. Her credentials include an Executive Master of Not-For-Profit Leadership, Seattle University; Post Master Certificate in Transforming Spirituality, Seattle University; BA Organizational Behavior, Seattle Pacific University; Pastoral Leadership Certificate and a Doctor of Ministry from School of Theology, Seattle University. Rev. Dr. Laura J. Hunt Laura J. Hunt adjuncts for several undergraduate and graduate institutions worldwide. Her PhD used semiotics and the poetics of allusions for biblical interpretation; it is published as Jesus Caesar: A Roman Reading of the Johannine Trial Narrative . She continues to work and publish in academia, particularly on the Gospel of John and 1 Peter. Her tagline, “Making the Academic Practical,” guides her work as Associate Pastor of New Beginnings in SE Michigan and her book on 1 Cor 1-4, The Not-Very-Persecuted Church . She loves languages, coarse bread, and smelly cheeses. Rev. Marianne Pēna Marianne Peña is a Pastor and planter of a bilingual Free Methodist Church in North Houston, Texas, Essential Church. She and her husband, William, co-pastored a multi-generational, multi-cultural, and bilingual church in Miami, Florida for eight years before being called out to plant. Marianne has been an ordained elder in the FMC since 2018. She holds an MA in Organizational Management from Spring Arbor University and a Graduate Certificate in Discipleship and Spiritual Formation from Wesley Biblical Seminary. Marianne is passionate about helping believers walk in the freedom and power of the Holy Spirit and seeing women thrive within their context while experiencing the fullness of what God has for them. Marianne and William have three lively boys, Shiloh, Micah, and Mason. Dr. Michelle Roberts Michelle Roberts, a member of the Free Methodist Church since 2002 and one of the church plant leaders of Light & Life West, Long Beach, CA. She served as the co-leader of the ministry support team, “Life Support” where she assisted with groups/classes coming together for healing and support. She ministered as the online church platform leader, communications administrator, social media content developer, program developer and website administrator. 2019, Michelle became the Assistant Director of African Heritage Network. She is also the founder of JKLM Corp, a Non-Profit organization for small business technical support, workshops, graphic design assistance and an entrepreneurial hub for charitable organizations with limited resources. Rev. Heather Baker Utley Heather Baker Utley is pastor and planter for a Free Methodist house church, Tapestry Church, in San Antonio, Texas. She also works in the areas of web design and social media for several Free Methodist-affiliated organizations, including Light + Life Communications and Wesleyan Holiness Women Clergy. She holds an MDiv from Seattle Pacific Seminary and has been ordained in the FMC since 2017. She has 17 years of experience working for churches and nonprofits in Ohio and Washington State in the areas of youth ministry, children’s ministry, administration and communications. Rev. Amelia Cleveland-Traylor, MD Rev. Amelia Cleveland-Traylor, MD was ordained as elder in the FMC in 2005. Her ministry responsibilities have included pastoral care, praise and worship leader, women’s ministry director, youth ministry, small group leadership, and faith and fitness. Amelia has served on the MEG and MAC in the Ohio Conference, been a member of the Genesis BOA, and was Superintendent of the River Conference from 2018-2022. She currently serves on the FMC Board of Administration. She has a special interest in justice and advocacy with pending studies of justice and advocacy at Fuller Theological Seminary beginning in fall 2022. She is also a board-certified obstetrician gynecologist and has a focus in indigent health care and women’s health. Coming Soon Our Priorities COMMUNICATION Create and maintain lines of communication that include women leaders at all levels. Ensure they have the information they require to advocate for themselves and find opportunities in the Free Methodist Church. CONTINUING EDUCATION Create a resource center of information regarding gender issues. EMPOWERING MENTORS Work to equip new young pastors, new pastors, CMCs (ministry candidates), and women in new pastoral roles with the mentoring, communication, and opportunities they require for full use of their gifts and opportunities. PROCESSING, HEALING, SHARING STRATEGIES Create a safe space for women who have experienced sexual abuse, assault, or harassment either from an FMC leader or a person defended by one to tell their stories and find advocacy. ADDRESSING PROMOTIONAL SYSTEM Educate the FMC about gender bias and women’s unique life stages so that women can begin to make up a more representative portion of leadership and pastoral candidates. SEXIST PATTERNS OF BEHAVIORS Offer training on patterns of sexism and power. PREVENTATIVE MEASURES Work to educate and screen pastoral candidates regarding egalitarian beliefs.

Crafting GC Resolutions and Gaining Support Panelists include: Bruce Cromwell, Denise Abston, Jen Starr-Reivitt, and Collene Carney. Colleen Carney Coming Soon Jen Starr-Reivitt Lead Pastor, Compass Point Church Denise Abston Assistant Superintendent for the Central Region Conference Bruce Cromwell Superintendent of the Central Region Conference

FMC Women's Dissertation Corner Are you a FM woman whose dissertation is missing from this list? Let us know and we will add it! (We would also be happy to add dissertations written by men addressing gender equity.) Email Us An Evaluative Study of Instruction in Moral Development Education for Paraprofessionals, PhD, Michigan State University, 1976. Rev. Catherine M. Stonehouse, PhD "Responsible curriculum development for moral education calls for attention to behavioral changes, not just in the adult learning situation, but out where parents and teachers transact with children and young people in the events of life.” Those Astounding Free Methodist Women: A Biographical History of Free Methodist Women in Ministry with an Extended Bibliography of Free Methodist Women’s Studies, DMin, United Theological Seminary, 1992. Rev. Jean Gramento, DMin "The saga of Free Methodist women in ministry remains largely uncompiled as a readily available documented source. Historians along with others can benefit from an accurate, interestingly written history which conveys not only these women’s contributions to the denomination’s ministries, but will also be a vehicle to express the confusion, tension, and frustration which sometimes accompanied their attempts to live out their calling, to ordained ministry in particular.” Women in Ministry in the Free Methodist Church: Getting the Picture, 1997. Bishop Bates, Carollyn Ellis, Rev. Dr. Cathy Stonehouse "Based on our findings, the study committee recommends that the Board of Administration take the following actions. 1. Recognize the special sensitivities of the women in ministry issue. We counsel grace on all sides. 2. Request all conferences to study the salaries of their ministers with particular attention to the salaries of women clergy to be sure that the women are receiving salaries commensurate with their contribution to the ministry of the churches in which they serve. 3. Have denominational leaders work with women clergy to develop awareness raising and instructional seminars and present those seminars in gatherings of superintendents and pastors. The seminars would help male and female clergy better understand the perspectives of one another and how to work more effectively together for the advancement of God’s Kingdom. 4. Have denominational leaders enlist the assistance of women clergy to work with superintendents providing the superintendents with ideas that they will use to help churches prepare to accept a woman pastor. 5. Encourage conference and denominational leaders to enhance communications in the denomination so that clergywomen and clergymen perceive that women’s voices are heard and do make a contribution. 6. Call all who plan conference, denominational, and local church events to regularly have, as a public model, both men and women leading together. 7. Commission the development of a study guide on the biblical understanding of women’s roles in the church. 8. Establish a support system for women in ministry that includes mentoring and networking, support from other women and male colleagues. 9. Request conferences to provide support and scholarships for women clergy to attend inspirational and enrichment events that are equitable with the support provided for clergymen. 10. Order the continued monitoring of trends in the leadership of women in the church, both lay and clergy women. 11. Make this study of clergywomen an on-going research project to include a follow up survey in 3 – 5 years, using the same questionnaire for comparative analysis." Only God Knows the Opposition We Face: The Rhetoric of Nineteenth Century Free Methodist Women’s Quest for Ordination, PhD, Bowling Green State University, 2012. Christy Mesaros-Winckles , PhD Winner of the Dissertation of the Year Award for 2012 from the Religious Communication Association! “As my dissertation has illustrated, the rhetoric of gender roles and male headship is not a new development in evangelical culture. It must be critiqued from both a current and a historical context. Understanding the present without understanding the influence of the past will only generate lopsided research. As this chapter’s opening story about ordained Free Methodist women shows, there is a lack of knowledge about rhetorical history within one’s own denomination. My research lays the groundwork for others to resolve this challenge.” Lived Experience of Female Pastors in the Free Methodist Church, USA: An Ethnographic Study, D.Min., Northeastern Seminary, 2016. Rev. Roberta Mosier-Peterson, DMin This dissertation has been made into a movie, which you can find here . “.........It is important for the church to face gender bias that remains. In order for change to occur, there must be an acknowledgement that gender bias causes much pain for female pastors. There is great need to change the environment, to aggressively resource, and to arrange mentorships for women in church leadership. It is time for the church to grow into greater faithfulness regarding gender equity. This will result in greater health and effectiveness not only for women clergy, but for the Free Methodist Church, USA, as a whole. This is a wholeness that is intended by God for the church.” Gender Bias in the Leadership of Protestant Churches, D.Min., Seattle University, 2018. Rev. Sheila Houston, DMin With regards to general assumptions about male-female differences in leadership styles, Dr. Houston’s study found “differences in the measures of only four of those areas: (1) More men than women manifested tendencies to use power over the lay members of the congregation. (2) More women than men were trying to empower their lay members to master their own spiritual lives and congregational affairs. (3) Men were more legalistic than women in dealing with ethical issues. (4) More men than women preferred making decisions using formal and rational criteria.” Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion of Women and People of Color in Leadership in the Wesleyan Tradition, D.Min., Portland Seminary, 2020. Rev. Trisha Welstad, DMin “Everyone’s voice matters to enact the kingdom of God. To be able to practice theology in culturally nuanced ways that truly impact communities, people from diverse backgrounds and both genders need to be empowered to speak into leadership, programs, and systems. When these voices are filtered through the existing predominant paradigm, the kingdom of God becomes homogeneous, and thus, less than God’s intention from Genesis through Revelation.” The Household of God: Building Communities of Shalom, DMin., George Fox University, 2021. Rev. Jodi Gatlin, DMin “The shalom community loves God first, and then focuses on loving one another as Christ loves them. The shalom community must be focused on practices that bring healing, rather than harm. The shalom community will join God, in the power of the Holy Spirit, and in the unity of Christ to love God and one another, and do this through the lens of paradise, practice, and patience.” Checking our Pulse: Today’s Women Ministers in the Free Methodist Church, GM531 Fuller Theological Seminary, December 1985. Rev. Deborah D. Smith "I see three areas that need to be addressed in the future by the denominational leadership of the Free Methodist Church regarding their women in ministry: 1). Increased support and encouragement of F.M. women in ministry; 2). Improved education on women in ministry at denominational, conference and local church levels, and 3). Increased visibility and placement of women in ministry and leadership positions within the church.” Immigrant Clergy in the Promised Land, summarized from her PhD of the same name, Syracuse University, 1997. Rev. Delia Nüesch-Olver, PhD “Whether this new wave of [Latino] missionaries comes under the auspices of a denomination or not, for the sake of the harvest, the church in the United States could prepare people and organizations to receive and to empower these new missionaries. There could be a continuum of support, backing, and collaboration: from being good brokers by helping Latino pastors better serve their own Latino communities to developing support systems similar to the ones for Western missionaries overseas. Some assistance would be simple personal, relational, intentional encounters. The other end of the continuum would require major organizational shifts and adjustments.” Strengthening the Vitality of New Hope Free Methodist Church Through the Natural Church Development Approach, D.Min., Asbury Theological Seminary, 2000. Bishop Linda J. Adams, D.Min “When I arrived as a new pastor, I found it very beneficial for the church leaders to have an ‘outside’ diagnosis of their health. As a newcomer, I did not have to be the prophetic voice, calling people to recognize their need for spiritual renewal. Their own answers on the NCD survey did that!” Promoting Clergy Gender Equity: A Mixed-Methods Analysis of an Egalitarian Evangelical Denomination, PhD, Gonzaga University, 2015. Beth K. S. Whiting, PhD Dr. Whiting has also created a 20-page summary of her research entitled “Second-Generation Gender Discrimination and the Stained Glass Ceiling.” Dr. Whiting’s study proposes the following steps to promote equity: change organizational dynamics, alter unhealthy norms, amplify female voices, support innovation, implement women’s leadership development initiatives, create a Center for Gender Equity, and encourage benevolent male advocacy. Jesus Caesar: A Roman Reading of John 18:28—19:22, PhD, University of Wales Trinity St. David, 2017. Rev. Laura J. Hunt, PhD This dissertation is published as Jesus Caesar: A Roman Reading of the Johannine Trial Narrative . WUNT II 506. Tübingen: Mohr Siebeck, 2019 . “Latin use in inscriptions shows evidence of intersections between Roman and Greek languages and culture during the first century CE. Although the provenance for the Gospel of John is not definitively determined, this evidence is present in each proposed location as well as in the text of the Gospel itself (e.g., πραιτώριον in 18:28, 33 and 19:9). This suggests, based on Umberto Eco’s semiotics, that the Roman cultural encyclopaedia could shed light on the Gospel of John, particularly in the Roman trial narrative for a Roman-aware audience.” Improving Discipleship on Sunday Morning: Interactive Teaching/Preaching as a Discipleship Model for Adults, DMin, Gordon-Cowell Theological Seminary, 2022. Rev. Jill Richardson, DMin "The sermon monologue hasn’t changed in essence or execution for centuries. Now, however, it has come up against a force that might change everything—the information overload age. Our electronic culture has become less attentive, more apt to question facts, less interested in one person’s thoughts, more interested in discovering varying opinions, less willing to sit at the feet of an expert, and more collaborative. This reality will inevitably clash with our history and traditions of preaching. If we desire to disciple all our people and maintain their robust faith, it is time to experiment with new preaching methods to disciple and reach them. A pastoral teaching style that emphasizes interaction, hands-on activity/application, sensory detail, community, and collaboration better disciple our congregations, especially young adults, toward a robust, active faith." Women in Leadership Task Force, “Final Report to the Board of Administration," 2020. Free Methodist Church in Canada This report has a detailed set of recommendations for FMC leadership at every level, as well as a bibliography “as we consider the recommendations this task force is making, it should be noted that almost everything we heard, analyzed, digested and are proposing will benefit all leaders in our denomination, not just the women, and will make us stronger. We would like to further note that it was the leaders we interviewed who made this point!” Why Can't You Just Be Sweet? Experiences of Women Clergy in the Church of the Nazarene Dr. Kathryn Lewis Mowry Trevecca Nazarene University Published in Didache 23.1 Although this is not a study on or by the FMC, we thought that the results were similar enough to our experiences that they were worth reporting. "Nearly all the women in this study have common stories of difficult experiences with lay persons in congregations. They have had people walk out of services when they have preached, leave churches when they have pastored, and tell them to their faces that women should not be pastors. For the sake of this article, however, I have chosen to move past these common experiences with lay persons in local churches to address common experiences of women in the context of relationship with their ministerial colleagues and district leadership."

Anonymous blog post Years ago, I was part of a cohort being trained to be coaches for pastors. I was the only woman pastor in a cohort of about 8. During one of the sessions, each of us was assigned a partner with whom we would do the homework for the next session. My partner and I weren't able to meet to do the assignment before the next session but at that session, he raised an issue that is an example of the kind of resistance & fear I've encountered as a woman pastor in a mostly male vocation. My partner was surprised that his wife was upset by the mere idea that he had been paired with a woman for the assignment. He loves & respects his wife but was at a complete loss for how to handle her discomfort with him working with a female colleague. I was glad that he brought it up for discussion with the rest of the cohort and our instructor, but I was also uncomfortable that it had even been an issue, especially since he and I failed to do the assignment together. I was also uncomfortable being the only woman present to address the issue. I didn't want to make it personal and criticize his wife, but I also didn't feel comfortable sharing how I felt. I'm happily married and have never had a problem with the wives of other pastors whom I've actually worked with, each for several years. My first thought after an initial flush of annoyance was—why would my partner's wife assume that anything inappropriate would occur between her husband and me? As if! Another time a member of my church, who had been so grateful that I had been willing to meet with her husband to help get him to address a serious addiction, came to believe that her husband and I were having an affair because her husband had gotten so upset when our senior pastor decided that he should meet with him instead of me. I was completely blind-sided and even insulted. Did she distrust me after she was the one who wanted me to meet with her husband because she thought he would listen to me? Did she think I would be unfaithful to my own husband? Again, as if! I'm still at somewhat of a loss for how to respond to the fears of women like this. It's not enough to just say it's their own insecurities and I didn't do anything wrong or unprofessional. I don't want to dismiss their fears, yet at the same time, I don't want to feel like I have to defend myself against other people's feelings and unfounded fears. I'd like to hear what other women pastors think and how they've handled similar situations themselves. I've been blessed to work with several male senior pastors who have been very supportive of my call to pastoral ministry. Unfortunately, it has been other women and men who say they support women in ministry—as long as they're not the lead pastor—who have made it difficult for me as a pastor. We’d also like to hear how you’ve handled these situations. At AWL, we don’t subscribe to the idea that women and men can’t counsel, teach, and support one another one-on-one. We don’t believe they can’t be friends and colleagues. We DO believe we can all treat one another as images of God and siblings in Christ. We can do this for suspicious spouses, too! But how, without compromising our call to minister to everyone? It’s an excellent question.

Quote from the Article: He taught that Psalm 8 meant that there is a hierarchy, with God at the top, and then angels, and then husbands, and then wives. At family camp, a non-FMC speaker was invited in to teach about family. He taught that Ps 8:4, “What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels, and You have crowned him with glory and honor” (NKJV) meant that there is a hierarchy, with God at the top, and then angels, and then husbands, and then wives. When several women elders expressed concerns about this teaching, the Superintendent had a private conversation with the speaker, who then joked with the attendees in his next session that “some of the wives weren’t very happy about my teaching last night.” No effort was ever made to correct that theology for those listening. A male elder told jokes about “the differences between men and women” as an annual conference keynote. I confronted him about the damage done by those kinds of jokes. I discussed the default they presented as “the man’s point of view is the right one and the woman’s is unreliable” in every difference between men and women he mentioned. I mentioned how condescending and paternalistic it came across. Finally, I talked about how damaging it was to imply, by conference sanction as a keynote, that this type of speaking was acceptable and appropriate for FM pastors and could be replicated in their pulpits. He was apologetic, attentive, and kind throughout the conversation. His defense, however, was that “my wife thought they were funny,” and “my wife is ordained, so I obviously support women.” He did not seem to understand that neither statement proved my experience of the jokes to be wrong. No apology to the larger body for damage done occurred, despite leadership knowing this conversation had happened and being present at it. One FMC leader, while speaking publicly about pastoral abuse, mentioned that in one instance a woman’s husband was greatly impacted by what had happened to her. I tried to point out privately that it is problematic when women’s mistreatment is measured by how badly the men in her life are impacted. He disagreed. When I continued the conversation, he brought in another leader to whom my boss’s boss reports. I tried to point out how unsafe that made me feel because of the way it changed the power dynamics. He was greatly wounded by this idea that I found him unsafe and became so fragile that further fruitful conversation became impossible. My male senior pastor regularly told sexist jokes from the pulpit. Over the course of several years, I occasionally brought up to him how damaging that was. I spoke to him myself, and also sent articles that discussed why it was a problem that harms the whole congregation, men and women alike. He never stopped. I confronted a pastor who had “biblical masculinity” as one of the values of his church. After back and forth emails in which he kept talking about how busy he was, we eventually set a time for a phone meeting. I had written out in front of me 6 different reasons why that was inappropriate as a value for a FM church. He began the conversation by assuring me condescendingly that once he explained to me what it meant, I would understand why it was okay. He tried to tell me that what he meant by biblical masculinity didn’t include the subordination of women. He understood biblical masculinity from the perspective of the "feminization" of the church (an equally problematic and sexist viewpoint which he assumed I didn’t know about or understand). One of my arguments was the way the term “biblical masculinity” had been used to silence women, and therefore the way it sounded to women elders in our conference, reminding them of some of their worst experiences of marginalization. He responded, “Well, that just sounds like political correctness to me!” The argument that seemed to resonate with him the most out of my six was that everywhere else that phrase is used it does mean the subordination of women, so that’s what it communicates to anyone coming to his website. He tried to tell me that he didn’t know whether that was really true, but I volunteered to send him 10 examples once we got off the phone, and he didn’t pursue that line of discussion. Eventually, he said that he was going to have to end the conversation. Since he had not been able to convince me that it was okay for him to have “biblical masculinity” as one of his values in an FM church, I asked when I could expect him to take it down. He got really mad then, told me he was busy, and he had no idea when he might get to it.

Power I was at a birthday party this week, and someone had tied a helium balloon to the birthday woman’s chair. It stayed there, bobbing around and occasionally hitting her on the back of the head or catching her arm in the string, until during dessert she finally said, “Get that thing off of there!” One of the concerns I have regularly heard from CMCs and pastors, as well as observing myself, is the way people with power seem unaware of the effects of that power. Power can come in the form of organizational power (Lead Pastor, Superintendent, Board Member, Bishop), social power (White, Male, Middle Class), educational power (degrees, or conversely no degrees and popular wisdom), or group identity (longest membership, generational membership, best representative of the group). Whether they wield it like a helium balloon, and it just gets in the way, or they carry it more like a loaded gun that occasionally misfires, it is vital that those with authority understand how the power they carry works. Two Kinds of Conversations The very presence of a power difference causes some of those with less power to watch their words. Imagine the break room at Target. Employees are relaxing on lunch break, chatting about work and home, laughing, joking. Then the boss walks in. Laughter stops, and all eyes turn to her until she makes clear whether she is coming in for coffee or to chase some of the employees back out to the floor. If it turns out that she is only refilling her mug, conversations will resume, but they will likely be more subdued than before, and the topics, possibly even the vocabulary, will be different than before. The difference between the conversations before and after the boss walks in, if it could be measured, indicates the amount of oppression the workers feel. Even the best boss, however, will not have direct access to everything said when she is not in the room. Think about the people you talk with. Do you have the power to fire them? To assign them to the worst tasks? To give or withhold appointments? To speak about them well or poorly with other leaders? If so, then you should assume that no matter how wonderful and approachable you try to be, there are conversations going on that you don’t know about. There are truths that everyone knows except the leaders. Believing Your Own Press I used to work at a Seminary library at the check-out desk. We regularly had retired pastors who came to the library and wandered around, not reading, not looking for specific books, not even really browsing. They just seemed lonely. Inevitably, they would approach my desk and start talking. It was clear that they did not want a conversation—they didn’t leave room for any responses from me—they just wanted to talk to someone the way they used to talk to their congregations. They would passionately expound their favorite themes on Christian living. And they seemed completely bewildered that all the people who had given them their full attention for so many years were now absolutely uninterested in hearing what they had to say. Their experience carrying a power invisible to them tricked them into believing that everyone thought they were brilliant. And when they lost their power, they became lost and confused because in reality, it was only their power that had kept people listening. Power may be invisible to the one who holds it. Power is not invisible to those one has power over. Of course, leaders can choose to ignore these truths. Pastors can continue to preach, teach, and lead in the ways they feel are right and assume that congregation members who refuse to follow are unfaithful to God, bitter, rebellious, worldly, or otherwise sinful. And when we get wind of the rumblings of that break-room conversation, we can dismiss it as gossip. But there is another way. Using Power Wisely Practice Listening to People You Disagree With: Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 tell us that gifts are distributed throughout the congregation. Anyone speaking with you may be offering God’s corrective to your vision. If this is not a skill you excel in, practice using podcasts, talk shows, or other sources and look for what you might learn even from those you disagree with. As you get better, or if this is a skill you already possess, approach every conversation assuming that another person’s perspective is meant to improve your understanding of God’s guidance. Get curious about what your occasional anger tells you about you, instead of what it tells you about them. Find Intermediaries: Maybe it will be your spouse, maybe the church secretary, maybe the youth pastor or the worship leader. All these people will inevitably hear conversations that you won’t. Know first that they will need to respect the privacy of the individuals who are speaking to them. However, they can be valuable conduits for you to hear the corrections from the congregation that God is sending you. Disagree in Private; Agree in Public: Whenever you can, thank publicly those who helped you to see a truth that you missed. This signals to everyone else that you are open to being corrected by people with less power than you have. Back that up by continuing to be open to others, particularly critiques from people different than you. Listen to Other Communities: If you are having trouble hearing from certain groups in your church, find out who they listen to and follow them as well. This may overlap with #1. You may find that these other communities fall outside of FMC doctrine, but resist the urge to “fix” this from the pulpit. You must first demonstrate that you have listened to them and that you recognize that some of their points of view are helpful for the church. Find ways to show that you value them. Do Not Dismiss Other Conversations as Gossip: If you are newer to the church, there may be years of hierarchical teaching that you need to counteract before people are willing to open up to you. All the progress you might be making can be reversed by a race-based or gender-based joke from the pulpit, or the public shaming or private de-valuing of a member or a subgroup within the church. As annoying as we inevitably find certain people, they are gifts to us and to the church from God, and whether we agree with them or ultimately disagree, we must recognize their value. Notice Those Who Disappear: Be proactive when you see people stepping back or getting mad. Make room for their anger in your presence. As leaders, we need to be aware of the suffering of God’s people, even when it occurs at our hands. We may be able to act differently in the future, understand people better, and ultimately lead better. Men in particular will want to think about ways to make sure they are not inadvertently tying lead balloons to women’s chairs. What women in your congregation are you listening to? Is there a representative cross section of ages and races? What women are you following on social media? What female pastors and theologians are you reading? What resources do you have in place for women in your congregation or conference to bring up concerns or disagreements? If you have the power to make or break their careers, you may need to put processes in place to hear from them anonymously. Where are you building bridges from women’s groups to leadership groups? How are you publicly affirming women who have helped you to grow in your understanding of gender dynamics, or your interpretations and applications of Scripture? As you build answers to these questions into your leadership practices, your knowledge of and love for all the subgroups within your congregation will keep you from using your power to cause harm. And those following you or serving alongside you will be less hampered by balloons.